Saturday, March 21, 2009

Ain't Miss-Behavin'?

I'm relating this tale of the wildly mis-named Miss Congeniality (Missy's) adventures in grooming today because there's no way I'm letting her near the keyboard. Herself may look like an Angelic Creampuff but she cusses like a stevedore -- the laptop would go up in flames.

So we finally had several days of rain here in central Texas -- after weeks and weeks of cracklin' drought. Missy and The Magnificent Ghost took the opportunity to dig some nice, deep mudholes and waller around in there gettin' good and filthy. Since Missy sleeps in my room, she has made it her mission to transfer as much crunchy, itchy, crumby dirt to my bed as is possible, preferably right after I've changed the sheets. Boy, that Texas dirt can be persistent. Miss Thing can pick up a good load with each paw and snuggle it right into the sheets in a matter of seconds, with her very best Sweet Gorgeous Darling expression on.

She is also shedding. With Missy, shedding means that the human hand need only hover within 10 inches of her lovely coat and Whooosh! it is instantly covered with a thick fuzz of undercoat, while a gentle cumulus cloud of unattached underfluff floats in the intervening space and disperses throughout the house or car. Caressing or kissing Missy is undertaken with the foreknowledge that one will need to be scraped down or vacuumed afterward to reveal the human beneath.

Since the Magnificent Ghost is also shedding his short, Gund-toy-type coat in projectile spurts, it was clearly time to take the creatures to the groomer. So the Malamutes had their dates with their favorite groomer, Mandy, at the Petsmart today. Ghost was his usual nervous wreck self, yodeling like a banshee every time someone entered the back. However, he thoroughly enjoyed his desperately needed brushing, bath and blow-dry and allowed his claws to be clipped like a little trouper.

Miss Congeniality had to be line-brushed, of course, and behaved like the alpha bee-atch she is, bossing everyone around and keeping up a running commentary in her bass-baritone voice. She is not shy about expressing her opinions about the other dogs (matching white mini poodles with red ribbons! I ask you!) or about having the Sam-I-Am tufts on her paw pads clipped (not a fan, esp. on the hind feet). Her vocabulary is broad and on the blue side, and she is quite the imperious Boss Lady.

When I came to pick up the Malefactors, Ms Mandy was quite a bit worse for wear, and the whole space was filled with floating clouds of underfluff. Rather like my house. Seeing the sparkling, shiny, gorgeous creatures that came out with plumes wagging furiously, dark brown eyes snapping and voices ringing to the heavens, one would never imagine that these Precious Angels could cause such utter devastation ...

So much for my lovelies until the next rain!

Ever grateful for groomers who love their jobs and actually enjoy working with Mallies!!