Bad Dog

MRMers take note, it is possible to drive one's human insane with minimal effort, even on beautiful Maui.

It helps if humom is not too with-it to begin with.  It also helps to be a service dog! But I anticipate.

Yes, dear friends, we have returned to beautiful Maui, FINALLY.  I had a good flight, sitting on the seat next to humom drooling in the ear of the young muscle-bound gent in the seat on the aisle.  He giggled uncontrollably for much of the flight.  Several stewardesses took my picture.  Yes, we are that old.

Anywoo, on Maui we spent a wonderful month with Auntie Shel at Malmaison, flirting outrageously with Jesse the rattlermute and Tiggrr the oahumute.  Humom had less fun, looking for a place to live, since our old place was not available (humans are too dumb, she should have just marked the property, duhr).  So ANYwoo, she finally got this Craig guy with a list to hook her up with the place we have now -- you can bet I'm marking up a storm ;-)!  Since every single listing within our budget says No Pets -- and few landlords have heard of the law re: service dogs, which means Malamutes, specifically Me -- we got majorly lucky.  Our landlord and housemate likes dogs; a big selling point was that I am Very Well Trained, Never Off Leash and a Good Dog ;-). 

Well, yesterday while landlord was working in the adjacent yard with a lot of artisans, who decided to go for a tear?  A silver streak of Mallie after a cat, that's who!  Humom did the usual idiotic whisper-scream "Missy, come" between clenched teeth while nonchalantly walk-running after me, beet-red in the face.  She tried the "no kitty."  She tried running away from me.  Finally, she stood at the edge of the gully, me long out of sight, following the sounds of all the dogs in yards alerting at my presence in turn, imagining me being set upon by the local huge pit-mastiff mixes that are used to pull down wild boar up the volcano ... half in tears, trying to call, to listen, dignity in shreds -- when whom should she hear breathing quietly behind her but a sweetly smiling, adorable, melting-eyed Mallie that she is simply unable to strangle, much as she'd like to.

Adrenaline!  That's the ticket!  And after a healthful walk of shame past a grinning new landlord and his laughing workers, a juicy treat.

I wish you MRMers the same.

--- Miss Congeniality out