Thursday, July 30, 2009

Re: Ziva's first night home

Dearest Mistress Ziva,
you are doing well, not to put up with any guff from your male companion.
As for your query regarding the big white box in the kitchen, tut tut, my child, a lady does not concern herself with mundane items of machinery.
Instead, you should be perfecting your Human Manipulation Skills. How is your Tilt of the Head with Big Brown Eyes and Subliminal Whimper? If your Humom is not reduced to quivering tears and automatic Food Dispensing mode, my dear, you must practice, practice, practice! In addition, the fine art of hypnotism requires a certain study of the human psychology. You will achieve your goal at some point by simply sitting and staring at your huperson, but how much more quickly and effectively if you place your chin on our paws and sigh heartrendingly?
Your Malamute ancestors have evolved these survival skills over the millennia, and it is the obligation and sacred duty of each and every one of us to refine and perfect them and pass them on in turn to the next generations. Therefore I will share with you a modern-day skill learned from the late, great Guerillera Alexandria which she in turn observed one of our feline housemates performing. Dear Ziva, if you find yourself alone in the house with no huperson to hypnotize, and you're feeling a trifle peckish, you might just sidle over to the aforementioned white box. Inserting a delicate and well-manicured white paw beneath one of the doors, and gazing thoughtfully off into the distance, you might just exert a bit of traction on the door. It should open quite easily. The cheese is usually within convenient reach.
I would not recommend doing this too often, as your humom (like ours) may become fed up and purchase a fridge with the freezer on the bottom -- this is not nearly as easily opened.
Looking forward to many reports of a congenial and edifying nature,
Yours in sisterhood,
Miss Congeniality
Austin, Texas


Subject: Fw: Re: Ziva's first night home

Woo-Woo Pvt Travvy.
I know i'd like you to come visit too! but the boat trip is scary i was in the car for a long long time! but my new Hu-Mom gave me loads of cuddles i thought it was strange that my sister Blanca wasn't going to the woods too when i got into the car. my new brother is a bit strange he thought he was boss, don't know who gave him that idea i put him right about 5 minutes after i met him.. There is one thing thats puzzling me though how to you get into the big white box in the kitchen where Hu-Mon puts the yummy scrummy left overs?
Ziva

MALAMUTE-L post

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